In this part of the process you will need to consider how each of the actions on your Action List will impact on others. It’s important

to say here that just because any of your actions may have a huge impact on others does NOT mean that you shouldn’t take that

action. It just means that you need to fully understand what that impact may be and then take some extra measures to help reduce

the impact. (As an example, if your possible action is to emigrate abroad, then whilst the impact on elderly parents you are leaving

 behind can be enormous, engaging them in the process early and keeping clear communications with them (showing them how

Skype works, planning visits etc) can minimise the impact and show them that they are being considered)

STEP 1.

For each of the actions on your Action List, write beside it who may be adversely affected by you taking this action. Again, think

outside the box - will your elderly neighbour (who has come to depend on you a lot) be impacted if you move away or if you take

on a second job and no longer have the time to do chores for them?

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STEP 2.

For each of the people affected by one of your possible actions, you must consider how you will help minimise the impact.

NOTE: There may come a point where you cannot see a way to minimise the impact and, emotionally, you may feel you are not

prepared to put someone through the distress of you taking the action. Think hard here: If the unhappiness of not improving your

life is more than the unhappiness of seeing the impact of you taking the action has on someone else, then you should remember

that change is not always easy, but this is what you have decided to do. So get on and do it.

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STEP 3.

If you genuinely cannot cope emotionally with the impact that taking your action will have on someone else, then cross this action

off your Action List. BUT - beware of how you deal with these decisions or you may find that you have crossed ALL your actions off

your Action List. If this is the case, you are not ready for change and should put this process aside. I wish you well.

You should now have a list of actions, with those people who are affected by each action and some ideas on how you will minimise

the impact sufficiently for you to take action.

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STEP 4.

Look at all the actions on your Action List, one-by-one, and take some time to ask yourself:

                                      “If I complete this action, how much positive difference will it make to my happiness”.

Be absolutely honest with yourself when answering this question. Based on the answers to this question, put all the actions on your

Action List in order, with the one at the top being the action that will contribute most to your happiness, going down to the bottom

where that action will contribute the least to your happiness (but remember it is still contributing!!)

This list now becomes your Planning List and it forms the basis for you to create a plan of action, knowing that you have considered

the impact your actions will have on others. You have "Thought Of Others". Don’t worry if this sounds complicated, some worked

 examples, to help you, are in the Part 6 of this website. 

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This is the end of the three formal parts of the MAD MAD TOO guide, but obviously things can’t stop here. The next part (Part 4) is

the Take Action part. Now, because the actions in the Planning List are different for everyone, the detail of what comes next will

have many variations, and while there are some worked examples, not every mix of actions will be covered, but some guidance to

make it easier to create your plan of action is nevertheless contained in the next two parts. Remember, it’s your life and you will need

to think in detail about the actions you are going to take.Well done for getting to this point!